The Somatic Yes vs. the Performance Yes

Part Three of The Body as Oracle

You said yes — but your stomach dropped.

You smiled — but your chest tightened.

You agreed — and immediately felt the urge to cancel.

We’ve all been there.
Saying yes when we want to say no.
Agreeing before we check in with ourselves.
Performing ease while our bodies whisper discomfort.

Sometimes it’s subtle.
Sometimes it’s all-consuming.
Either way, that internal conflict is a signal: you’ve overridden your truth.

What is a Performance Yes?

A Performance Yes is a yes that comes from habit, fear, or expectation — not from authentic alignment.

It often sounds like:

• “I don’t want to disappoint them.”

• “They’d do it for me.”

• “I should want to go.”

• “It’ll be fine once I’m there.”

It’s survival disguised as consent.
It’s the fawn response with a polite face.
It’s self-abandonment dressed up as being a “team player.”

Performance yeses often come with a somatic cost:

• Tight throat

• Shallow breath

• Racing mind

• Sudden fatigue

• That instinct to escape before you’ve even arrived

Your body knows it’s not a real yes — even if your mouth says otherwise.

What is a Somatic Yes?

A Somatic Yes is a full-body knowing.
Not necessarily loud — but undeniable.

It feels like:

• A softening in your belly

• A natural inhale that expands the chest

• Grounded excitement, not frantic urgency

• Warmth in the face or hands

• A clear, open “mmm yes” sensation somewhere in the body

It might still come with nervousness — especially if you’re stepping outside your comfort zone — but underneath, there’s coherence. Something clicks into place.

How to Tell the Difference

When you’re unsure if your yes is real, try asking:

❍ Is my body moving toward this or away from it?
❍ Does this yes feel nourishing… or draining?
❍ If no one expected anything of me, would I still choose this?

You don’t need to overanalyze — just observe.

And if clarity doesn’t come right away, pause.
Stillness is often where truth has space to rise.

Learning to Honor the Somatic No

The hardest part isn’t knowing what’s true — it’s honoring it.

Especially if you’re used to:

• Keeping the peace

• Anticipating others’ needs

• Earning love through being agreeable

But every time you honor your somatic no, you rebuild trust with yourself.
You teach your body: your signals matter. Your needs are valid.

That’s the first step toward becoming an oracle — one who doesn’t just hear the truth, but lives it.

From Here

In our next post, we’ll explore how the past lives in your body — and how to meet those younger versions of you with care, not judgment.

Until then, notice:
Where are you saying yes out of performance, and where are you saying yes from truth?

And what would change if you paused long enough to listen?